What’s behind ongoing Male Loneliness?
Picture taken in Waukegan, Illinois
In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy stated loneliness and social isolation is a national public health crisis. Dr. Murthy believes loneliness should be treated with the same urgency as tobacco use, obesity, and substance abuse. He stressed that loneliness is a significant threat to people and societal health, contributing to increased risks of heart disease by 29%, stroke by 32%, dementia by 50%, anxiety, depression, and early death. “A 2021 study commissioned by the Cigna healthcare company showed 79% of people ages 18 to 24 reported feeling lonely— a rate nearly twice as high as that of seniors ages 66 and older” (LA Times, 2023).
Male loneliness is increasingly being recognized as a serious social issue. According to Dilhara (2025), one of the primary drivers of male loneliness is social isolation. While both men and women tend to experience a shrinking circle of friends as they age, this trend is more pronounced among men. Many men lose close friendships over time, and without strong social ties, loneliness becomes a silent epidemic.
Economic Stress and Self-Worth
Job insecurity also plays a significant role. Men facing unstable employment or lacking a reliable income often experience a decline in self-worth. This economic strain doesn’t just impact their mental health, it also affects their ability to build or maintain romantic relationships. In today’s dating landscape, dominated by apps, many women are competing for the top 10% of men, leaving the remaining 90% feeling invisible or left behind.
Picture taken March 2024 Las Vegas, Nevada
The Disappearance of Third Spaces & Toxic Masculinity and Emotional Isolation
As Liu (2024) notes, the decline of third spaces are places outside the home and work where people can connect, has further fueled loneliness. With fewer community centers, clubs, or informal gathering spaces, opportunities for organic male friendships have declined. There must be opportunities for connection with others. Humans long for other humans.
Another critical factor is toxic masculinity. This cultural norm teaches men to suppress their emotions— “Don’t cry,” “Man up”equating emotional vulnerability with weakness. Liu (2024) argues that this toxic framework discourages men from sharing feelings, fearing social ridicule or being labeled as weak or unmanly. As a result, many men internalize their pain, increasing their risk of depression, substance abuse, and even cardiovascular disease.
Men are often discouraged from confiding in other men due to fears of being perceived as overly emotional or even homosexual. This adds another barrier to forming genuine, supportive male friendships. Instead, men often rely on superficial connections, talking about sports or politics, rather than their inner struggles. This silence reinforces isolation, a central element of toxic masculinity or a better name, “immature masculinity.”
Gender Differences in Coping and Connection
According to a 2025 Pew Research survey, women are significantly more likely than men to turn to their social networks for emotional support. While 4 in 10 adults report sometimes feeling lonely, 47% say they hardly ever or never feel lonely. Interestingly, the most significant loneliness gaps are not between men and women but among different age groups.
Younger adults under 50 are much more likely to report frequent loneliness (22%) compared to those 50 and older (9%). In fact, 66% of people aged 65 and older say they never feel lonely (Goodard & Parker, 2025).
Women are also more likely to seek emotional support from various sources:
- Mother: 54% of women vs. 42% of men
- A friend: 54% women vs. 38% men
- Another family member: 44% women vs. 26% men
- A mental health provider: 22% women vs. 16% men
Male Disconnection Hurts Everyone
Men are reporting fewer friendships, romantic relationships, and social bonds. This is linked to:
- Higher rates of loneliness, depression, and violence
- A shrinking marriage pool and declining birth rates
- A loss of community fabric that affects women and children, too
As men disconnect, families weaken, workplaces suffer, and democracy frays. Boys and Men are in need of tremendous help.
Education, Income, and Loneliness
Far too many men are choosing not to go to college for whatever reason. Goodard & Parker (2025) found that emotional well-being is closely linked to education, income, and marital status. Individuals with lower income, those who are unmarried, or who have not completed college are more likely to feel lonely frequently. Another reason why education is so powerful and benefits one until their death and even in death.
The Role of Social Connection in Health
Social connection is foundational to human well-being. It positively affects mental, physical, and emotional health. It boosts self-esteem, lowers anxiety, and improves empathy. Beard (2025) highlights that strong social bonds can lower cortisol levels, reducing stress and improving longevity. Social connection is also associated with lower risks of heart disease, stroke, and other chronic illnesses.
Importantly, 80% of people who die by suicide are men (Owen, 2024). Developing social connections helps men cope with life’s challenges and build emotional resilience.
Strategies to Promote Social Connections & Reduce Suicide Risk in Men
- Develop Peer Support Groups
Create initiatives similar to Andy’s Man Club in the UK. This peer-led men’s mental health group meets weekly and offers a safe space for men to share their feelings. - Promote Men’s Sheds
Encourage the development of Men’s Sheds—workshops where men collaborate on hands-on projects like fixing engines or woodworking. These spaces foster belonging, purpose, and camaraderie. - Create Safe Emotional Spaces
Advocate for environments where men can openly discuss their mental health. Promote public messaging that challenges stereotypes and normalizes emotional expression.
Why Men Matter—and Why Society Should Care
We must suspend our differences for the purpose of focusing on male loneliness as well as other pressing concerns men are facing in the modern era, such as the massive incarceration and poor mental health. Men matter because they are integral to families, communities, economies, and future generations. Yet, in recent decades, growing mental health challenges, educational gaps, declining labor force participation, and rising social disconnection have signaled a crisis in male well-being. Addressing this isn’t just a “men’s issue”—it’s a societal one.
References
Beard, T. (2025). The health effects of human connection: Why relationships matter. Social Wellness Publishing.
Dilhara, S. (2025). Male disconnection: A growing social crisis. Journal of Modern Psychology, 48(2), 122–134.
Goodard, M., & Parker, R. (2025). Loneliness in America: A generational divide. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org
Liu, J. (2024). Third spaces, toxic masculinity, and the loneliness of men. Mental Health Today, 33(4), 56–72.
Murthy, V. (2023, May 2). U.S. Surgeon General declares loneliness and isolation a national epidemic. Los Angeles Times. https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2023-05-02/loneliness-isolation-epidemic-u-s-surgeon-general-declares
Owen, B. (2024). Male suicide and the importance of social connection. American Journal of Public Health, 114(1), 19–25.
Pew Research Center. (2025). Loneliness in the United States: Who feels it and why. https://www.pewresearch.org